To create something, gives ultimate pleasure to human minds - This is why holding his newborn baby on his arm and looking to the new face, a person feels proud himself. A child is a huge part of a family whatever he or she is handicap or normal.
Now I want to share with you how a father started hating to his beloved child. When the kid was six or seven years old his parents observed some changes and after some time they become embarrassed and finally the boy become a serious prestige concern for the entire family.
Kajol, Anis, Javed and Hiru live in Saver. Talking with Kajol he explored that when he was seven or eight, he discovered some famine characteristics on his own. He feels that he likes mix up with girls rather than boys. He always tried to follow his other sisters, how they dressed, use lipsticks, wearing Salowar-Kamiz and Shari was really amazing things to do for him. But he never ever tried to learn how a boy plays DANG GULI or Flying Kites. After a year or two when one of his sisters become married to a person Kajol was also thinking that one day he will also be married with a person, he will also have a husband like his sister. Even in coeducation schooling system he always loved to sit with girls rather than boys and felt like he is a girl too.
Due to biological or conditional needs, a male who have sex with other male partner is called MSM and Man who play passive role, interested of being penetrated and selling his sex is called MSW (Male sex worker). It means that a male who is educated and economically empowered may need not to sell his sex to another male but love to have sex with other male. MSM’s have different category like active role player and passive role player. Most of the MSW is passive role player MSM and all the clients are active role player MSM.
Now let’s talk about the clinical definitions- In south east Asia males with psychologically feminine characteristics who strongly belief that they are female, are called “ KOTI”. KOTIs are usually use to with pant shirt and move around like the other males but feels sexual attractions to other males, normally which should be the opposite sex. Another interesting fact is Koti’s have their own language which they called ULTI and within the south asia this language is almost same in Pakistan, Srilanka and India. No one ever heard that there is any definite renowned research or study conducted on this ULTI language. Not only language, Kotis have their own culture too which they called “ GURU CHELA Culture”. Different program and activities of Kotis are taken under this culture.
One day a neighbor invited Kajol to his home for chatting but in one stage of chatting slowly he was touching his sexually sensitive places and within few days he taught Kajol how to masturbate. That was Kajols first time ever in his life. Sad but true is a person who was the uncle of Kajol’s neighbor [kajol also called him uncle] bring Kajol to his home and have sex with him forcefully, in the urban context it happens usually among the cousins. This fact caused a mental depression to Kajol. From that very age they become stigmatize and discriminated in their family as well as from the society. They faced eve teasing on their school, boys and girls called them “Half Ladies, MAIGGA”etc. Through this stigmatizing attitude by the surrounding community, they become discriminated and isolated day by day.
Kajol is not exceptional from them and become so lonely, self-centered loosing the meaning of life and hating himself. One day Kajol met with other two Koti and learn about the new language called ULTI from them. As an example _ HAMSI means me my self , TUMSI means you, PARIK means husband or life partner, GOTIA means friend. Within a short period of time people of the local community started calling him HIZRA. Slowly they become friends and started visiting Ramna park. The rest of the fact can easily understoodable to us. Though Kajol didn’t like to sell sex but for the sake of survival he has to do it regularly. One day he decided to live under a ‘Guru’ who will take his responsibility as a guardian. He called him MA means Mother. If the same things happen to a higher society they never become a male sex worker but live as MSM (male having sex with other males).
Like all HIZRA most of the Koti loves to dress like women and also act like them. But the problem is they can’t by cosmetics from the market like other women can.
Koti’s are selling sex not only for their financial needs but also they have biological and physical needs too. Once a koti enters in a sex trade from that time they become socially stigmatized and negatively identified. Often they are sexually harassed by the community people. Sad but true is, Koti can’t even share their physical problems to any doctor or medical person. The reason behind this is the doctors are not well aware about this MSM’s sexuality and not feel comfortable with the clients that makes the whole issue more complicated, unaddressed and hidden.
Often we become confused about the common difference and similarity between HIZRA and MSM. MSMs and Hizra’s are not the same group. Clinically we can say that Hizras doesn’t have the reproductive capacity which a MSM have. Most of the MSMs are married in the society of Bangladesh. Kotis are forcedly married with women and active role player, PARIK’s are generally bisexual and married and both the group have the marital life with children. Koti’s are not at all interested with vaginal sex but their parents’ common thought is the person will be all right after his marriage but the real scenarios become worst. Most of the cases the wives identifies the sexual identity of her husband and go for separation or divorce. Now a days like Europe in Bangladesh, number of gay people are increasing. Even in high class community gay identity and gay sexuality is increasing significantly.
Now I want to share another serious issue – In our culture family never allows a boy to bring his girl friend at home [I don’t know what the problem is!!] and passing time but allows boy friends and due to this koti’s are going home to sell sex but no one even doubt. It’s easy to identify a Hizra due to their dress and other attitude but if a Koti move around you under shirt and pant it’s quite difficult to differentiate. It’s also a alarming issue for the society. The number of Clint is very large for a Koti. There are people who become bore by having vaginal sex need more titer things to penetrate are the client of Koti’s. MSW’s have a very good relationship with female sex workers. If a client demand anal sex or oral sex and the female are not interested on that they refer the client to a (MSW) Koti. MSW’s are quite famous as a sex tool in the society.
Let’s talk about value and ethics – Under the darkness who satisfy our physical thrust we refused to acknowledge him/her at he day light. That is our society. We all know about women are abused and raped but we don’t know that most of the Koti’s who are selling their sex having penetrated by another male are often sexually abused by the clients. Most of cases even police kept these harassments hidden to the general population.
Lastly, I even don’t know where is the solution?
What I believe that god has created not only the normal human beings but the rest of too. The new born who just see the light of this beautiful world if not have his normal life in his future then who is responsible for ....
There are lots of international events for the handicap where they can prove themselves.
Hizra’s and Koti’s are not handicap. Could we even give them a secured job?
What we have done for them?
Now I want to share with you how a father started hating to his beloved child. When the kid was six or seven years old his parents observed some changes and after some time they become embarrassed and finally the boy become a serious prestige concern for the entire family.
Kajol, Anis, Javed and Hiru live in Saver. Talking with Kajol he explored that when he was seven or eight, he discovered some famine characteristics on his own. He feels that he likes mix up with girls rather than boys. He always tried to follow his other sisters, how they dressed, use lipsticks, wearing Salowar-Kamiz and Shari was really amazing things to do for him. But he never ever tried to learn how a boy plays DANG GULI or Flying Kites. After a year or two when one of his sisters become married to a person Kajol was also thinking that one day he will also be married with a person, he will also have a husband like his sister. Even in coeducation schooling system he always loved to sit with girls rather than boys and felt like he is a girl too.
Due to biological or conditional needs, a male who have sex with other male partner is called MSM and Man who play passive role, interested of being penetrated and selling his sex is called MSW (Male sex worker). It means that a male who is educated and economically empowered may need not to sell his sex to another male but love to have sex with other male. MSM’s have different category like active role player and passive role player. Most of the MSW is passive role player MSM and all the clients are active role player MSM.
Now let’s talk about the clinical definitions- In south east Asia males with psychologically feminine characteristics who strongly belief that they are female, are called “ KOTI”. KOTIs are usually use to with pant shirt and move around like the other males but feels sexual attractions to other males, normally which should be the opposite sex. Another interesting fact is Koti’s have their own language which they called ULTI and within the south asia this language is almost same in Pakistan, Srilanka and India. No one ever heard that there is any definite renowned research or study conducted on this ULTI language. Not only language, Kotis have their own culture too which they called “ GURU CHELA Culture”. Different program and activities of Kotis are taken under this culture.
One day a neighbor invited Kajol to his home for chatting but in one stage of chatting slowly he was touching his sexually sensitive places and within few days he taught Kajol how to masturbate. That was Kajols first time ever in his life. Sad but true is a person who was the uncle of Kajol’s neighbor [kajol also called him uncle] bring Kajol to his home and have sex with him forcefully, in the urban context it happens usually among the cousins. This fact caused a mental depression to Kajol. From that very age they become stigmatize and discriminated in their family as well as from the society. They faced eve teasing on their school, boys and girls called them “Half Ladies, MAIGGA”etc. Through this stigmatizing attitude by the surrounding community, they become discriminated and isolated day by day.
Kajol is not exceptional from them and become so lonely, self-centered loosing the meaning of life and hating himself. One day Kajol met with other two Koti and learn about the new language called ULTI from them. As an example _ HAMSI means me my self , TUMSI means you, PARIK means husband or life partner, GOTIA means friend. Within a short period of time people of the local community started calling him HIZRA. Slowly they become friends and started visiting Ramna park. The rest of the fact can easily understoodable to us. Though Kajol didn’t like to sell sex but for the sake of survival he has to do it regularly. One day he decided to live under a ‘Guru’ who will take his responsibility as a guardian. He called him MA means Mother. If the same things happen to a higher society they never become a male sex worker but live as MSM (male having sex with other males).
Like all HIZRA most of the Koti loves to dress like women and also act like them. But the problem is they can’t by cosmetics from the market like other women can.
Koti’s are selling sex not only for their financial needs but also they have biological and physical needs too. Once a koti enters in a sex trade from that time they become socially stigmatized and negatively identified. Often they are sexually harassed by the community people. Sad but true is, Koti can’t even share their physical problems to any doctor or medical person. The reason behind this is the doctors are not well aware about this MSM’s sexuality and not feel comfortable with the clients that makes the whole issue more complicated, unaddressed and hidden.
Often we become confused about the common difference and similarity between HIZRA and MSM. MSMs and Hizra’s are not the same group. Clinically we can say that Hizras doesn’t have the reproductive capacity which a MSM have. Most of the MSMs are married in the society of Bangladesh. Kotis are forcedly married with women and active role player, PARIK’s are generally bisexual and married and both the group have the marital life with children. Koti’s are not at all interested with vaginal sex but their parents’ common thought is the person will be all right after his marriage but the real scenarios become worst. Most of the cases the wives identifies the sexual identity of her husband and go for separation or divorce. Now a days like Europe in Bangladesh, number of gay people are increasing. Even in high class community gay identity and gay sexuality is increasing significantly.
Now I want to share another serious issue – In our culture family never allows a boy to bring his girl friend at home [I don’t know what the problem is!!] and passing time but allows boy friends and due to this koti’s are going home to sell sex but no one even doubt. It’s easy to identify a Hizra due to their dress and other attitude but if a Koti move around you under shirt and pant it’s quite difficult to differentiate. It’s also a alarming issue for the society. The number of Clint is very large for a Koti. There are people who become bore by having vaginal sex need more titer things to penetrate are the client of Koti’s. MSW’s have a very good relationship with female sex workers. If a client demand anal sex or oral sex and the female are not interested on that they refer the client to a (MSW) Koti. MSW’s are quite famous as a sex tool in the society.
Let’s talk about value and ethics – Under the darkness who satisfy our physical thrust we refused to acknowledge him/her at he day light. That is our society. We all know about women are abused and raped but we don’t know that most of the Koti’s who are selling their sex having penetrated by another male are often sexually abused by the clients. Most of cases even police kept these harassments hidden to the general population.
Lastly, I even don’t know where is the solution?
What I believe that god has created not only the normal human beings but the rest of too. The new born who just see the light of this beautiful world if not have his normal life in his future then who is responsible for ....
There are lots of international events for the handicap where they can prove themselves.
Hizra’s and Koti’s are not handicap. Could we even give them a secured job?
What we have done for them?
